from the mouth of Donovan

Donovan spotted a Christmas wreath at my parents house and said, "Oh grandma, you put up your Christmas tire!"
                                                                                                                                 

Holding up a bent finger he pointed to his knuckle and said, "mommy, is this my finger knee?"

miss o

It's been an eventful couple of months for my girl.  She...can now pump on the swings and get all the way across the monkey bars (even the wobbly triangle ones).  Got her ears pierced and lost her first tooth.

 Got a pet bunny.

Traded her preschool crush for a kindergarten one (sorry Ryder, but Jack is also very talented on the monkey bars).  Receive a superb first report card.  Is an accomplished bus rider.  And recently turned six.

Olivia, you are a great joy.  You are growing and gaining confidence every day.  Never forget how loved you are.

mamas epilogue

Boy, that last post sure was long!  Congrats if you made it all the way through.  Shortly after I posted it I heard a song with the line, "Break my heart till it moves my hands and feet."  Nuf said.

mamas the world over

A few nights ago my daughter went to bed hungry.  Of the four items served for dinner she decided that she only liked one and rejected everything else.  So I gave her my standard reply, "That's fine if you choose not to eat your dinner, but remember that you won't get any snacks this evening."  Apparently she found the meal so horrid that she immediately accepted my terms and was excused from the table to play with her new Barbies. 

The evening passed and her brother (who ate his dinner) got a bedtime snack and quickly drifted off to sleep.  Olivia was exhausted from her busy day so I assumed that she was fast asleep too.  I busied myself with chores around the house and an hour later I heard her crying in her room.  "I'm so tired, but I can't fall asleep because I'm so hungry!" she wailed.  She wanted cereal.  I offered left-overs.  She wanted toast.  I offered left-overs.  I pleasantly informed her, "I love you too much to argue with you, honey.  I'm going down to the kitchen to do the dishes.  If you decide to come down I will be glad to get you some left-overs," and then I left her room.  A few minutes later she dragged her tired little body down the stairs.  After a few bites of this and that plus some milk the kid practically fell asleep at the table.

Later, when I was in bed praying, I got to thinking about all kids the world over who go to bed every night with empty bellies and their mamas who are unable to sooth their cries.  How do those babes get to sleep at night with hunger gnawing at them?  How do their mothers survive the torture of hearing their little ones cry for food and being utterly helpless to feed them?  I try to put myself in their shoes.  What if Olivia was crying that night, but there were no left-overs to be had?  I imagine myself laying beside her and telling her, "I am so sorry love, but there is no food.  Go to sleep.  Hush.  Hush.  Go to sleep.  Maybe tomorrow we will eat."  And my heart broke wide open.  I wonder, why are some born into nations, communities, families that have plenty and others born into such hopeless poverty? 

And what is my responsibility in all this?  Compared to many in America I don't live an extravagant lifestyle, but compared to most of the world I live in a mansion.  I've realized that the only true yard-stick I can use to accurately measure my life by is God's Word.  And what does it tell me? In the book of Luke Jesus said,

 “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.”  And He told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man was very productive.  And he began reasoning to himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no place to store my crops?’  Then he said, ‘This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods.  And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink and be merry.”’  But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?’  So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.”   And He said to His disciples, “For this reason I say toyou, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on.  For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing."  v. 15-23

 

 “Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves money belts which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." v. 33-34

 

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more." v. 48

For those of us who have plenty these are difficult teachings.  I don't want to give up my sense of security that comes with my stuff, even if I know it is false.  But in this same passage Jesus tenderly says, "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom." v. 32.  Can I trust God to provide for me and my children?  Will I take a risk banking on Him to come through for me?  What will I do when I am tempted to buy something I don't need?  Can I be honest with myself and realize that most of what I buy I don't really need?  

 

I think for some believers that heart change comes fast and furious.  For me, it comes slowly and gently like a whisper.  I am learning to train my ear to that whisper.  I am learning to be obedient when the whisper is clear.  I am learning to be patient and wait when it is not.  And I am failing at all of this every day.  But I am pressing on, keeping in mind the reality of the poverty and darkness in this world.  Yes Lord, I have plenty.  I pray that I will be up to the task when much is required.  Keep changing my heart so that I may recognize your voice and be willing to act with a grateful heart.

hope

This post from (in)courage really spoke to me today. The passage from Joel that she mentioned first came to my attention a few weeks ago and I've been digesting it ever since. To me it speaks to the hope that we have in Christ. It's so encouraging to know that, even if I have to wait until I reach my eternal home, I will be satisfied. It's His promise to me and He always makes good on His promises.

lonely

Loneliness. It's part of the human condition, I guess. And we go to such lengths to keep it at bay, don't we? Maybe stay in a relationship that we shouldn't. Maybe deceive ourselves into believing that we really are ready for that new relationship when we're really not. Shopping, TV, internet, alcohol. It's all a big distraction from the lonely. But I think of Jesus on the cross. It's doesn't get more lonely - even the Father turned from him. He knows lonely more intimately that I could ever imagine. He knows my brand of lonely to be sure. He knows. But it serves a purpose, if only to align me more closely with Him and His heart for the world. Our heartache is not wasted. Lord, I surrender all to you. Turn this broken girl into an instrument worthy of your name.

he's four

Gosh, I can't believe that it's been a month since my last post. Life is flying by, punctuated by the fact that Donovan is now FOUR YEARS OLD! Yep, my little man recently had a birthday. I am so glad that Mark and Melissa were still around to celebrate with us. They left for Wisconsin a few days after the party and are leaving the country soon. We are all missing them terribly, but it was a joy to have them here for a few months.

Here's the birthday boy with his lion cake.

This gift was from my mom and dad. It's a laminated poster called "Fishes of Minnesota." The kid is obsessed with it. He sleeps with it most nights. No joke. I think he has most of the names memorized. Oh D, you rock my world. I am one fortunate mama.