From a mother's heart

Sweet boy with Brown Bear

Here sleeps Donovan with his beloved "brown bear".  This is his favorite lovie by far.  It was given to him by great-grandma Daisy.  What you probably can't tell is that brown bear is actually a chipmunk who used to be called "black bear" until he figured out the difference between black and brown.  Olivia, our self-appointed no-nonsense police woman, was greatly relieved when he finally figured out that it was brown.  But it irks her to no end that he still calls it a bear, not a chipmunk.  I can hear them arguing at times: it's a bear, no it's a chipmunk, no it's a bear, no it's a chipmunk...

What is it about my first-born that makes her such a stickler for getting everything right, everything perfect?  And why is she so quick to point out to the rest of us when and exactly why we are wrong?  There is no room for mistakes with this child.  I find myself constantly defending Donovan's right to be creative, to be imperfect, to be three!  And I find myself often consoling Olivia when she realizes that, just like the rest of us, she too is human and prone to imperfection.  I strive to praise their efforts rather than their accomplishments.  I re-assure them when things don't turn out as they hoped.  "It doesn't need to be perfect," I say.  "The important thing is that you tried so hard.  The important thing is that you had fun doing it."  But I wonder, did I somehow instill in her this need to be perfect?  Did I push her too hard or correct her too often?  Did I fail to embrace her just as she is or did I send her the message that she isn't good enough? 

Lord, help me to be the mother that each of my children needs.  Help me to know when to give them grace and when to discipline.  Help me to remember that they behave immaturely because they are, in fact, immature.  Help me to shelter them, being in the world but not of it.  In a world that pushes kids to grow up too quickly, help me to push back and allow them to grow up in due time.  Most of all, Lord, help me to let go of my own fears and insecurities so that I can live fully in the present, savoring each day with them.  Thank you for these two.  They are blessings beyond belief which I do not deserve.