What kind of mother (part 2)

So I'm listening to this radio program as I pull into the Panera parking lot.  I wait until the interview is done, I go in, get a cup of soup and find a quiet spot to work on my Bible study.  I'm turning this radio interview over in my mind, digesting, full of judgement and righteous anger.  I even write notes about what I'm thinking in the margins of 1 Corinthians 9.  Notes like, "Are we entitled to pursue our own happiness at our kids expense?  Absolutely not!"  Then I begin my study and God begins to turn my heart. 

Paul is writing about the lengths that he goes to avoid being a hindrance to the gospel or a stumbling block for non-believers.  Even the things that he is entitled to, like a living wage, he does not ask for to avoid appearing like he is just preaching for money.  Paul endures all, sacrifices all to avoid alienating those who desperately need to hear the gospel he preaches.  He says, "For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I may win more."  1 Cor 9:19

And I recall those verses that I have heard since I was a child.  "Judge not lest you be judged."  "Justice is mine, saith the Lord."  I imagine what a dear friend would say with such compassion about the choices these women are making, "They don't know the error of their ways.  They are in darkness.  They are trying to fill the hole that only God can."  I remember that it is not my place to judge, only to have compassion and love for the lost.

Later I meet with a group of fabulous women and we go through our study together.  We talk about our struggles to be in the world, but not of it.  To love the sinner, but hate the sin.  To avoid judging without condoning.  How do we walk this line in love?  Thankfully, our leader shares some very practical guidelines and we eagerly write them down:

• Find common ground
• Avoid a "know it all" attitude
• Make others feel accepted
• Be sensitive to their needs and concerns
• Look for opportunities to share about Christ

Another wise woman points out that it all comes down to building relationships.  In a culture that abhors "being judged" the only way to reach an unbeliever is to get to know them, invest in them, genuinely care for them.  Only then can we speak to their hearts so that they may know the truth.